XxRandomKiwixX
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Re: My Ultimate Fh Tribute
AnimeFuckHead: Edited because I think the original post is relatively useless and my shit deserves to be the first post on every page
MynameisYomuchan,(knownasYomu,YomToxic,thatannoying,recurringwannabeRPGvillain,ShogunYomuchan,etc.)A ndonthisday,Tuesday,theThirdofJuly,year2012AD,6thEraoftheLord,IwillbeginwritingdownallIknowofthislan d'sgreathistory.Forthefirstpartofthisendeavor,ImadethepilgrimagetoHighSpamgussomewherein2011,anisola tedpalaceonthesummitofthetheSaucemount-thehighestmountainintheland,andhometotheOnceandFutureSpamEmpe ror.Heismilleniaold;oldbeforetheages.Andhewastherewhenthefirsterawasyoung.FHwouldhavesurvivedwithorw ithoutLimelikehowitliveswithoutKlacidLikesomesortofunholyzombieFHhasalwaysbeeninaconstantcycleofrein carnationExactlymypointItdies,itgetsremade,itdies,itgetsremadeIrememberwhenitwasonsuchashittyserverw ecoudenthavebloodinoursignatures.Butitwasstillalive.Proboards?Thinkso.ItwasthefirstFHIjoined.See,all thisbeeingsaid,IthinkFHwillcomebacktolifeunderLimeIthinkhedoesanOKjobasanadminHanzotalksabouthowFHwa sdeadbeforeWatchedIowntimeSignedupSomeonealreadyhadthenameKenshinRagedChangedusernametoHanzoGoodtime sbegin!CeptthesitewasdeadwhenIgotthereThatswhyIalwaysthinkFHcancomebacktolifeatanytimeTheFHIgottofir stwaslikeanemptyshellYoucoudentevenhavebloodinyoursigslol,itwasafreeboardwithstrictmoderationMe:Prob oards?SortofButcrappierYeah,IgotthereandthetwomostactivememberswereAmSidarandDustinlolUntilIgotthere .AndthenShocksockaweekafterme.Thenbusinesspickedup::PMe:sO....So....weneedtosummonShocksock.Naw,youj ustgottaholdoutuntilthenextgenerationofguysgetthereKeepmakingshitandputtingituponnewgroundsImean,ino rderofwhatIremember,Igotthere,thenShock,thenNewpurple,thenPKB,thenSomeguy...Andalltherandomlessactiv emembersinbetweenlolOh,CBPbetweenPKBandSomeguyButEverymembergrowsoffthelastsortofJustgottawaitfortha tonefuckerinterestedenoughIstartedoffonFHbyreadingtheoldthreadsonpage40SorryI'mrantinglikeamothefuck er::PBackwhenIwasanoobtherewasnothingfuckingcoolerthantheoldmemberscomingbackIfigurelifeisjustabouth oldingthefuckoutSeigementallityFORTHEWINWhatdoyouthinkKlacidwasthinkingOrhadenvisionedWhenhemadeFork heads?Me:Rememberthosepre-Iowntimeflashesofhis?YupMe:Ithinkheneededaplacewhererookieflashanimatorsco uldgather,andgetconstructivecriticismfrompeople.IwishIcouldremembertheproboardsbetterHaha,alittlekno wnfactIwasnotthefirstpopularspammerIcan'trememberthenameofthefirstguy,excepthegotpermabannedaboutamo nthbeforeIarrivedAmartyrforthecommingrevolution!Ayeee,appreantlyhekeptdogingbansforawhileAlas,Kodach iandAmSidareventuallydidbanishhimButnothisspirit!TherewerealsotwofactionsIcan'trememberwhattheyweres upposedtohavebeencompetingoverBecuasewhenIgottherebothfactionsweredeadMATTCOOLTHATSHISNAMETHATSHISFU CKINGNAMETHEOTHERMODWASMATTCOOLI'vebeentryingtorememberthatformonthsI'lladmitIdontknowthatoneHewasgo nebeforeyourtimeamigoItsweirdthinkingthatSLSOwasaroundbeforemeIfImanagetogetmyshittogetherbytheway,w ithintheframeoftwoyearsIfFHisstillaliveI'llprobablyhaveenoughflashskillstocontributesomethingofworth Endinterview.Ireturnedhomeafterthat.Itwasanuneventfuljourney.-ThefollowingisatranscriptionoftheGreat StelaoftheFourthEra.Itwasbelievedlostduringthe2011Apocalypse,however,afteritwasfoundintheruinsof???a fewdaysago,ithasbeentranscribedforeasyviewing.Ihavemadeeveryefforttoensurethatnowordshavebeenchanged .ThereMAYbesometypos.-Spoiler:hideHanzo,theEpicThisisthestoryofHanzo,theoneandonlySpamEmperor.Theman /beast/thingthatravagedForkheadsfor16monthsandmore.Hestartedoffasalowlynoob,unknowntospam,andunaware ofit.HefrequentedthemusicboardoftheoriginalincarnationofFH,saidtohavebeenGODamongstforums,andthebegi nningtomanyFHlegends.Somesay,thatFH'sgreatestmemberswerebornthere...Andinthatboardofmusic,hesaw,some onedoingsomethingnew!!!!Thispersonwhyrepeatedlypostingsonglyrics!!!WHATCOULDTHISBE?!!!Hanzosaidtohim self.Andsoon,helearnedthatitwasspam,andhesawthatitwasgood.So,hetookitastepfurtherandSPAMMEDFORKHEADS WITHGERMANSONGLYRICS.ThosedayseveryonehatedHanzo,andHanzowasbannedmanyatimeonlytocomebackstrongereac htime.ThosewerethedayswhenHanzobecametheSpamEmperor.ManyopposedHanzo,includingKodachi(FORKHEADS'GREA TESTFLAMER/BITCHfromoldentimes).HanzoandKodachihadmanyencountersandfoughteachotherfiercely,andinthee nd,HANZOPREVAILED!!!!!MonthswentbyasdidmanychallengestoHanzo'stitleandseveralreincarnationsofForkhea ds.Allchallengerswerecrushed,includinganidiot,namedShocksock(FORKHEADS'GREATESTIDIOT,fromoldentimes) .TherewerefewwhocouldchallengeHanzo,includingAnimeExplosionandSomeguy.Andtherewereseveralillegitimat espamgods,namedADPandNBV,whom,noonerecognized,fortheywerecheatersinspam...Butwoeonallgreatheroes,for Hanzogotlazy.Hisspamdeclinedinnumber,andhetooklesschallenges...FHhadlostit'sspamemperorduringit'sthi rdorfourthreincarnation.Somesaythathewillreturn,inhisfullglory,somedoubt.ButprophetspredictthatONEDA YHANZOWILLCRUSHALLINFIDELS!!!ANDRETURNINABLAZEOFSPAMANDGLORY!!!!!!################################## #########################TherewasamanonthesecondorthirdreincarnationofFH(iethirdorfourthFH),whoseori ginalnameislosttotheannalsoftime.Hewasanapologeticnoob.Andarandomoneatthat.Hewaspronetoaddingmonkeys toposts...ItwasMADNESSwithmonkeysrunningamok...yesthoseweredaysofmanymonkeys,anda"HANZO!!!Youkilledt heMONKEY!!!!"OnhissecondincarnationofFH,FH'sthirdorfourthreincarnation,HistoryrevealshimasAnimeExplo sion.Thisman,thismanofmonkey-nessmadeanameforhimself,byspammingKlacid'sinbox,andbotheringhimrepeated lytoaddhimtothecovetedgroup...thecovetedgroupthatwasapprovedforthehentaisection...AndKlaciddid...Man yfearedthisman,andhispersistence...somesaidhehadnolife,somesaidhewascrazy...butitisconfirmedbyHanzo, himselfthatthismanwasanadmirablespammer.AnimeExplosionhadmadehimselfintoaspamlegend,uptherewiththegr eatHanzo,thestupidShocksock,andthefakeGodsADPandNBV.Itisnotrecordedwhen,butthislegendaryspammer,then changedhisname...toanamethatisfearedbymany...HebecameknownasCrimsonBloodPhoenix,thusjoiningtheclubof threeletternames.Othermembersbeing,NBV,ADP,andJMJ.Andwiththisnewtitle,cameanewfear...afearofbeingrap ed.Hestalkedandrapedswtshiya(FH'sFIRSTANDGREATESTCATGIRL!!!!!),andmademovestowardAmsidar,whofoughtba ck.Andhedidnotstopthere,nohecontinuedraping,bothswtshiyaandrandomnoobs...andfhwasneverthesameagain.. .manyassesbledandstilldo.CBP,wentthroughmanynamechanges,suchasCelticWaterDove,RedAlert,AbstractFusio nGuardian,butwasalwaysthesameCBP,andalwaysreturnedtobeingCBP.Hewentontodomanygreatandinfamousdeeds,t oomanytolist...butsadly,asdidmanygreatspammers,hewasseizedbylaziness,andtothisday,doesnotspamanymore ...butnoobiesfear,forCBPWILLRAPEJOOO.###########################################################Quee nofFlamesIntheoldendaysoftheoriginalFHalegendaryhatewasborn.Fromtheseaofdatathatistheinternet,cameag irl,namedKodachi.Legendssaythatshewasanordinarymemberinthosedays.Sheissaidtoevenhavebeenlikeable...O necanbarelyimagine,thishappygirlwhocametoFH,whichsheoncedescribedasGod,forwhateverGodlythemesthisanc ientincarnationofFHhad.Itisleftforoldenmemberstoknow,andyoungermemberstoponder.Sheevenbecameoneofthe ancientGMods,ararebrandofeliteuser.However,withthecomingofShocksock,andthenHanzo,shewasslowlycorrupt ed.Shocksock(FH'sGREATESTIDIOT)alternatelystalkedKodachiandFlamedher,andHanzo(FH'sONETRUESPAMEMPEROR )pissedheroffwithhisforeignlyricsspam.Itwasbecauseofthese,andFH'sdecline,thatthepoorinnocenceofthisg irlwaswarpedintowhatisnowfearedasthegreatestflamingforceinallofFH.Itseemsthatnotallmemberswereleftun changedbyFH'ssuddeninfluxofmemberswhowantedhentai(yes,FHwasnotalwaysabouthentai),Amsidarwasalso,ones uchnegativelyaffectedmember.KodachiquicklymadeherselfknownasFH'scruelestmember.Manyfearedherflames,a ndmorejoinedupinthefighttooutflameher.Butalllost...andKodachigotworseandworse.Asmoreandmoreflamersro seuptofaceher,andmorelonelypreteens(likeshocksock)floodedherinboxwithloveletters...Kodachibeganareig nofterrorandmod-abuse...andthusly,shewasstrippedofhermodpowers...Shortlythereafter,shestoppedfrequen tingFH,stoppinginoccasionallyfortherandomflame,andsometimesevenforaqualityposto.O...butallrememberth edarkdaysoffear,fromherflamesandfromherenragedbanning.Yetsomemissthosedays,ofexcitement,valor,anddan ger...###########################################################TheAncientGMods:Fewhavesurvivedthet estoftime.Manyoftheoriginalmembersofancienttimeshaveleft.AmongthemwereNeoBlackViper,Kodachi,Amsidar, Buu_Miw,andJamesMikeJames.Butsomehavestayed,andhavethrived.AmongthemareAllor,ancientGModofmysteryand horsecock,PoolPlayerMaster,SexyLilSeaOtter,andADP,GModofPimpdom.Aye,theseareararebreedofModsandmembe rs.Fortheyarefromancienttimes,fromwhenKlacidfirstgavebirthtoForkheads.Yeteventhemodsstrayfromourbelo vedland.Fewknowofwhentheyactuallyjoined,andfewrememberwhentheybecamemods,butallremembertheirnames.Bu u_Miwmistressofevil,andofkinkysexparadises.Shewasahackerextraordinareandstruckfearandaweintomanyamem berwithherkinkytorturesanddevilishattitude.Thosewhoareunluckytomeetherwrathwillgethaxedoutoftheircom puter.ShecannowbefoundinKuroShare,asitethatbranchedoffourown,greatForkheads...Shewasthefirstancientm odtoleave,afterbeingfalselyaccusedofdesecratingKlacid'sgreatspamtopic,whenthenaiveBrysamwasthetruecu lprit.BothBuuandBrysamwerestrippedoftheirpowers.NeoBlackViper,thefirstfalsespamgodanduserofbots,wasp erhapstheamongthefirstprecursorsofthegreatForkheadsdepression.ForhewasthesecondancientGModtoleaveour greatland.Heistheco-founderofKuroshare,oftheKuroshareincidentandFHinquisition.Kodachi,queenofflames. Onceanormalmember,butbecametwistedintotheevilflamingforcesheisfearedastoday.Shewitnessedherdeclineat aboutthesametimeastheFHDepression.Butitisdebatedastowhethersheisaheorashe.Somedeemherarobot,oracreat urethathashatredforhumans,especiallyofthoseoftheidiotvariety...butnoonereallyknows.Amsidar,mistressa ngelmod,wastheotherco-founderofKuroshare.ShewasamongForkheads'firstgenderbenders.Inthebeginningshecl aimedtobeaguy,forherownprotection,butlaterrevealedherselftobeagirl.Manydoubted,includingthegreatHanz o(FH'sGREATSPAMEMPEROR),whomreferredtoherasanit.Butshesoonlivedthatdownandcontinuedbeingafairmodofli ghtandorder.However,itisrumoredthatonceshewasagreatspammer,dubbedSpamsidar,butshedeniesthis.Andsadly ,duringthegreatFHdepression,andafterFH'sfifthgreatcrashshefrequentedFHlessandless.Themodsgatheredand votedtostripherofherpowertopassontosomeotherworthymember,andinherrage,sheleftFHforgood(returningocca sionallytocomplainandattempttoreformFH),andrefocusedhereffortsonKuroshare.PPMisamongtheoldestofmembe rs,onewhowasfirstamongstthosewhocameandviewedKlacid'sgreatforkheadsduringitsbirth.LittleisknownofPPM forhedoesnotfoolaroundasmuchastheothermods.ButheisarespectableandancientmemberoftheancientGMods.Allo risanotheroneoftheoldestmembersofthegreatFH.Heisanothermanofmystery,saidtobeseriousandrespectablebys ome,andsaidtoberandomanddisturbingbyothers.Hecanbefoundtaintingppl'smindswiththoughtsofhorsecock,and burningouttheireyeswithimagesfrom4chan.AndheistheONLYMEMBERtonothavechangedhissigandavataratall...It issaidthathehashadhadthatsigandavatarsincethebeginningoftimeandthathekeepsitbecauseitremindshimofhim self...butonecanonlyguessADP'snameringsoutlongandwideinthepimpworld.ForheisFH'sFIRSTGREATESTPIMP.Bit ch,you'dbetterhavehismoney,orhewillgivetheesuchaslapofpimpnessthatthoushalthathrelativesthatfeelit.I tisasecretamongstforumregularsastowhathisnamemeans,anditwillnotberevealheresothatnoobswillnotfindout anddesecratehisgreatname.LegendaryModsJamesMikeJames,wasperhapsthemostlikedmod.Fairinrulings,justine veryone'seyes.Hewasperhapsthemostpopularofancientmods.Buttheweightofthisworldgrewheavyonhim,andhesoo ndisappearedfromourgreatForkheadsandfromourmsnlists,responding,perhapseveryonceinawhile,andhourortwo afterwemessagedhim]..ThisallhappenedsometimeduringthegreatFHDepression.SexyLilSeaOtterwassaidtohave beenbornofMarilynMonroeandaseaotter.ItiswidelydisputedastohowsexyheREALLYis...andmanyidiots,suchasSh ocksock(FH'SGREATESTIDIOT)havetriedhittingonhiminthehopesthatheisagirl.LetitbeknownthatSexyLilSeaOtt erisamaleseaotterofsexiness.Yes,theancienttimesgavebirthtomanyastrangecreature,butSexyLilSeaOtter,is amongthetop.###########################################################KittyItissaidthat90%ofgirlson theInternetliketocyberandthattheother10%arereal.Swtshiyaisanexception.YetanotheroneofFH'srarefemalem embers,shewas,ofcourse,bombardedbytheflirtingofhornylittlemiddleschoolers.Ofcoursenoneofthesebotherh er,becauseshewasaninnocent,pure,andkindcat-girl.And,well,shehadAmsidarasherguard...Butthingstookadra sticchange."SWSHIYAILOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEJOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"rangoutintotheforu m.Therewasagreatbattle.ForCrimsonBloodRipperwashavingananimeexplosion...oflovejuicesforSwshiya.Andhe rapedher.Ofcourse,AmsidarfoughtCBR,andswtshiyaalso,buttheyfailed.ThisCBRisnonotherthanourbelovedandf earedCBP(FH'sforumrapist).Infact,herapedhermanytimes.Ofcourse,sopureaninnocentagirlcannotcomefromthi skindofexperienceunscathed.Foritwasthen,thatswtshiya,alsoknownaskitty,begantoenjoytheCyberSex.Andthu s,acatgirllegendwasborn.ShebecamegoddessamongstFHmen,andasymbolofenvytoKodachi(FH'sQueenofFlames),wh oturnedintoanevilbeingthroughherexperiences.Butswtshiyawasalwaysaforceforgood.Everyonelovedher,andsh elovedeveryone.ButwithForkheads'GreatDepression,sheslowlyfadedfromFH.Thoughshetriestocomebacktous,li fekeepsforcingheraway.Andthussheiscaughtinlimbotothisday.Sheneitherstaysnorleaves,butvisitseverynowa ndthentosayhellotothoselovedones,whoarestillhereonFH.############################################### ############OfBeastandManFewhavetheballstocallthemselvesacatboy.Evenless,akittyboy.Butpsychokittyboy wearsthelabelasabadgeofhonor.Somemaycallhimafurry,somemaythinkhimgirly.Butthiscatboyisonewhospitsonh umanityanditsilk.RaisedbyfemalesandcatsintheheartofTexas,heburnswithafurry,imeanfuryagainsthumanitya nditsstupidity.Therearemenandthereareboys,andthenthere'sPKB.Heisaprimeexampleofthenewerbeaststhatapp earedinFHsincetheoldendays.HebecameaForkheadduringFH'sfifthincarnation.Fightingagainstignoranceandth eprejudicethatcamewithbeingakittyboy.Hesoughtlongandhardtoprovehimselfaman.Heclawedandarguedhiswayto arespectablestatus.DuringthereignofKodachi'sterror,hebecameoneofthosebraveandhardysoulswhofoughtanda rguedagainsttheangeredancient.ManyatimetheargumentwasfoughttoastandstillorinterruptedbyShocksockcras hingthetopic.Butintheend,heremainedasaveteranofthosewars.AfterFHwasreincarnatedforit'sfifthtime(maki ngitthesixthandcurrentincarnation)pkbkepttothegeneralserioussections,wherememberssharpenedtheirargum entativeskills,andmanyidiotsattemptedtomakethemselveslooksmart.Butonecanonlydothatforsolong,sohesoug htpower,androseuptoGModstatus.Heisyettoseehisdecline.Andonewonderswhetherheisaprecursortothingstocom e...Willmorecatboyslikethisappear?onecanonlywonder._________________endoftheGreatStela-WithFH'shisto ryandhistoricalfiguresnowsetinstoneoncemore,Inowmovetothethirdandlastpartofthisbook;myattempttochron icleFH'spreviouseras,fromtheendingofCivilWarEratothebeginningofthemostrecentera,TheCivilWarEra(circa FourthEra)(2006-2007).Whatstartedasadisagreementoversimplesitecontentandrulesrapidlyescalatedintoama ssivewarthathastornFHasunder.Ancientrecordsandstelaeshowthattheoriginaldisagreementwasoverthetheperm issionofcertaincontentthatthecurrentadminsbelievedwasbannedunderUSlaw.Intheend,somemembersdecidedtos plitfromthesiteandcreateanewcommunityto'takebackwhatbelongedtothem'.Inthattime,theincumbentleadersof FHhadgrowncomplacent,confidentthattheirempirewouldnotfall.Thoseweredarktimes-butnotdarkerthanwhatwas waitingtocome.TherewasnoOriginalContent,andthecommunitywasbecomingstagnated.Thesuddengenocideonthelo liwasthelaststraw.Ijoinedthebreakawayfactioninthehopesofrescuingthesurvivinglolis.Iwasbrandedatraito r,butastheyhadnoactualevidenceoftheirclaim,IwasallowedtoliveinFHaswellasKuroshare.Kurosharewasanicep lace.Quiet,andasprinklingofOCeverywhere.Butthen,financialdifficultieshitme.Idroppedoutoftheinternetf oralmostayear.AndwhenIcamebackatlonglast,somethingterriblehadhappened.Kurosharewasgone-notasingletra celeftoftheirwebsites.Usingmytechnologicalknowhow-Iquicklycreateddevicesthatcouldpeerpastthemistsoft ime...andonlyfoundsliversandfragments.AllIknowisthattheywereattemptingtoreplicatetheoldworks,enhance andproduceOCandcontinuetheSexKittenSimDateserieswhen,withoutatrace,theyvanished.Allofthem.Mylastknow ncontactwithoneoftheKurosharewasarandombliponMSN...somewherein2011,withKuroSakura.Istillvisittheruin softheirsites,justtolook,andremindmyselfofthepriceoffailure.Thecivilwar,waswonbyFH.Butnotwithoutit's losses.Withhalfthemodsandadminsgone,therewasapowervacuum.Therebegan,theSunset.(2008-2011)BlackSatAug 16,200811:58pmYouKeepAsking,SoI'mJustGoingToMakeAnAnnouncement.IfThisDoesn'tWork,IMightHaveToMoveItT oThePortal.IfThatDoesn'tWork,IMightHaveToTypeItOutInTheHeader.IfThatDoesn'tWork,I'llDedicateAnEntire ForumWithTheTopicAsTheTitleAtTheTopOfTheBoard.IfThatDoesn'tWork,I'llMassEmailYouAllAgain.IfThatDoesn 'tWork,FUCKYOU.AnAdministrator(NotMentioningAnyNames....)AdminedVolorios(AKAPsychopsymon;PleaseHateO nHimIfYouWish)OutOfBoredomAndLaziness,WhoThenAdminedAnotherMember,AndTheyProceededToFuckUpTheSite.Th eyDeletedAccounts,De-Admined/De-ModdedEveryoneWhoWasn'tThem,GotRidOfAll0-PostMembers,DeletedThenRe-M adeANewSetOfRules,EditedProfiles,DeletedRanks/Pictures,FinallyTryingToMakeTheSiteTheirOwnAndNazi-Ing EverybodyUntilWeFinallyDecidedToSendInALetterOfComplaintOutOfUtterDisgustToTheHostWhoInTurnRemovedTh eSiteAltogether.That'sTheMessOfIt.SoNowWe'reBackHere.Don'tGetOnMyCaseForAnythingBecauseI'mDoneRantin g.-Thepowervacuumwasmoredevastatingthanthecivilwar.TheDarkyears,wereanominouspreviewofthingsyettocom e.Butthen,Lime,cametotherescue,avertingApocalypseforafewpreciousyears.Hehelpedcreateforkheads.net.It lastedforawhile,untilApocalypse.SomesaythatApocalypsetrulybeganwhenthesite'slayoutchangedtosomething seriouslycluttered.OtherssaysthatApocalypsewasordainedbyKlacid,whomwehadforsakeninhubris.Idonotknow. Butonaquiet,breezyafternoon,itbegan.Apocalypse(August2011toJanuary2012)Icannotbeartowritejusthowandw hythecausesofthisterribledisastercametobe,forthescarsstillburninmysoul.Butthen,Iknew.Itwastheendofan era.Theescalationcametoaheadbetweendisagreements,hostingpaymentandpettyrivalry.Onthe17thofDecember,2 011,thedomainexpired.NowordscoulddescribetheterroranddespairIfeltthatday.EverythingIcherished,gone-a lltheposts,gone.Everything,gone.Nothing,but'domainexpired',Thewordshangingthere,burning,likeadeathse ntence.Sometimes,Istillhavenightmaresofit.So,afteraninitialmomentofsorrow,Isetouttorightthisgreathor ror.AndonJanuary1,2012,IsomehowscrapedtogetherthefundsIneeded,andsavedthissite.Apocalypsewasavertedo ncemore.Anewerahadbegun.I'mgonnadomybest.Y/MynameisYomuchan,(knownasYomu,YomToxic,thatannoying,recur ringwannabeRPGvillain,ShogunYomuchan,etc.)Andonthisday,Tuesday,theThirdofJuly,year2012AD,6thEraofthe Lord,IwillbeginwritingdownallIknowofthisland'sgreathistory.Forthefirstpartofthisendeavor,Imadethepil grimagetoHighSpamgussomewherein2011,anisolatedpalaceonthesummitofthetheSaucemount-thehighestmountain intheland,andhometotheOnceandFutureSpamEmperor.Heismilleniaold;oldbeforetheages.Andhewastherewhenthe firsterawasyoung.FHwouldhavesurvivedwithorwithoutLimelikehowitliveswithoutKlacidLikesomesortofunholy zombieFHhasalwaysbeeninaconstantcycleofreincarnationExactlymypointItdies,itgetsremade,itdies,itgetsr emadeIrememberwhenitwasonsuchashittyserverwecoudenthavebloodinoursignatures.Butitwasstillalive.Probo ards?Thinkso.ItwasthefirstFHIjoined.See,allthisbeeingsaid,IthinkFHwillcomebacktolifeunderLimeIthinkh edoesanOKjobasanadminHanzotalksabouthowFHwasdeadbeforeWatchedIowntimeSignedupSomeonealreadyhadthenam eKenshinRagedChangedusernametoHanzoGoodtimesbegin!CeptthesitewasdeadwhenIgotthereThatswhyIalwaysthin kFHcancomebacktolifeatanytimeTheFHIgottofirstwaslikeanemptyshellYoucoudentevenhavebloodinyoursigslol ,itwasafreeboardwithstrictmoderationMe:Proboards?SortofButcrappierYeah,Igotthereandthetwomostactivem emberswereAmSidarandDustinlolUntilIgotthere.AndthenShocksockaweekafterme.Thenbusinesspickedup::PMe:s O....So....weneedtosummonShocksock.Naw,youjustgottaholdoutuntilthenextgenerationofguysgetthereKeepma kingshitandputtingituponnewgroundsImean,inorderofwhatIremember,Igotthere,thenShock,thenNewpurple,the nPKB,thenSomeguy...AndalltherandomlessactivemembersinbetweenlolOh,CBPbetweenPKBandSomeguyButEverymem bergrowsoffthelastsortofJustgottawaitforthatonefuckerinterestedenoughIstartedoffonFHbyreadingtheoldt hreadsonpage40SorryI'mrantinglikeamothefucker::PBackwhenIwasanoobtherewasnothingfuckingcoolerthanthe oldmemberscomingbackIfigurelifeisjustaboutholdingthefuckoutSeigementallityFORTHEWINWhatdoyouthinkKla cidwasthinkingOrhadenvisionedWhenhemadeForkheads?Me:Rememberthosepre-Iowntimeflashesofhis?YupMe:Ithi nkheneededaplacewhererookieflashanimatorscouldgather,andgetconstructivecriticismfrompeople.IwishIcou ldremembertheproboardsbetterHaha,alittleknownfactIwasnotthefirstpopularspammerIcan'trememberthenameo fthefirstguy,excepthegotpermabannedaboutamonthbeforeIarrivedAmartyrforthecommingrevolution!Ayeee,app reantlyhekeptdogingbansforawhileAlas,KodachiandAmSidareventuallydidbanishhimButnothisspirit!Therewer ealsotwofactionsIcan'trememberwhattheyweresupposedtohavebeencompetingoverBecuasewhenIgottherebothfac tionsweredeadMATTCOOLTHATSHISNAMETHATSHISFUCKINGNAMETHEOTHERMODWASMATTCOOLI'vebeentryingtorememberth atformonthsI'lladmitIdontknowthatoneHewasgonebeforeyourtimeamigoItsweirdthinkingthatSLSOwasaroundbef oremeIfImanagetogetmyshittogetherbytheway,withintheframeoftwoyearsIfFHisstillaliveI'llprobablyhaveen oughflashskillstocontributesomethingofworthEndinterview.Ireturnedhomeafterthat.Itwasanuneventfuljour ney.-ThefollowingisatranscriptionoftheGreatStelaoftheFourthEra.Itwasbelievedlostduringthe2011Apocaly pse,however,afteritwasfoundintheruinsof???afewdaysago,ithasbeentranscribedforeasyviewing.Ihavemadeev eryefforttoensurethatnowordshavebeenchanged.ThereMAYbesometypos.-Spoiler:hideHanzo,theEpicThisisthes toryofHanzo,theoneandonlySpamEmperor.Theman/beast/thingthatravagedForkheadsfor16monthsandmore.Hestar tedoffasalowlynoob,unknowntospam,andunawareofit.HefrequentedthemusicboardoftheoriginalincarnationofF H,saidtohavebeenGODamongstforums,andthebeginningtomanyFHlegends.Somesay,thatFH'sgreatestmemberswereb ornthere...Andinthatboardofmusic,hesaw,someonedoingsomethingnew!!!!Thispersonwhyrepeatedlypostingson glyrics!!!WHATCOULDTHISBE?!!!Hanzosaidtohimself.Andsoon,helearnedthatitwasspam,andhesawthatitwasgood .So,hetookitastepfurtherandSPAMMEDFORKHEADSWITHGERMANSONGLYRICS.ThosedayseveryonehatedHanzo,andHanzo wasbannedmanyatimeonlytocomebackstrongereachtime.ThosewerethedayswhenHanzobecametheSpamEmperor.Manyo pposedHanzo,includingKodachi(FORKHEADS'GREATESTFLAMER/BITCHfromoldentimes).HanzoandKodachihadmanyenc ountersandfoughteachotherfiercely,andintheend,HANZOPREVAILED!!!!!MonthswentbyasdidmanychallengestoHa nzo'stitleandseveralreincarnationsofForkheads.Allchallengerswerecrushed,includinganidiot,namedShocks ock(FORKHEADS'GREATESTIDIOT,fromoldentimes).TherewerefewwhocouldchallengeHanzo,includingAnimeExplosi onandSomeguy.Andtherewereseveralillegitimatespamgods,namedADPandNBV,whom,noonerecognized,fortheywere cheatersinspam...Butwoeonallgreatheroes,forHanzogotlazy.Hisspamdeclinedinnumber,andhetooklesschallen ges...FHhadlostit'sspamemperorduringit'sthirdorfourthreincarnation.Somesaythathewillreturn,inhisfull glory,somedoubt.ButprophetspredictthatONEDAYHANZOWILLCRUSHALLINFIDELS!!!ANDRETURNINABLAZEOFSPAMANDGL ORY!!!!!!###########################################################Therewasamanonthesecondorthirdre incarnationofFH(iethirdorfourthFH),whoseoriginalnameislosttotheannalsoftime.Hewasanapologeticnoob.An darandomoneatthat.Hewaspronetoaddingmonkeystoposts...ItwasMADNESSwithmonkeysrunningamok...yesthosewe redaysofmanymonkeys,anda"HANZO!!!YoukilledtheMONKEY!!!!"OnhissecondincarnationofFH,FH'sthirdorfourth reincarnation,HistoryrevealshimasAnimeExplosion.Thisman,thismanofmonkey-nessmadeanameforhimself,bysp ammingKlacid'sinbox,andbotheringhimrepeatedlytoaddhimtothecovetedgroup...thecovetedgroupthatwasappro vedforthehentaisection...AndKlaciddid...Manyfearedthisman,andhispersistence...somesaidhehadnolife,so mesaidhewascrazy...butitisconfirmedbyHanzo,himselfthatthismanwasanadmirablespammer.AnimeExplosionhad madehimselfintoaspamlegend,uptherewiththegreatHanzo,thestupidShocksock,andthefakeGodsADPandNBV.Itisn otrecordedwhen,butthislegendaryspammer,thenchangedhisname...toanamethatisfearedbymany...Hebecameknow nasCrimsonBloodPhoenix,thusjoiningtheclubofthreeletternames.Othermembersbeing,NBV,ADP,andJMJ.Andwith thisnewtitle,cameanewfear...afearofbeingraped.Hestalkedandrapedswtshiya(FH'sFIRSTANDGREATESTCATGIRL! !!!!),andmademovestowardAmsidar,whofoughtback.Andhedidnotstopthere,nohecontinuedraping,bothswtshiyaa ndrandomnoobs...andfhwasneverthesameagain...manyassesbledandstilldo.CBP,wentthroughmanynamechanges,s uchasCelticWaterDove,RedAlert,AbstractFusionGuardian,butwasalwaysthesameCBP,andalwaysreturnedtobeing CBP.Hewentontodomanygreatandinfamousdeeds,toomanytolist...butsadly,asdidmanygreatspammers,hewasseize dbylaziness,andtothisday,doesnotspamanymore...butnoobiesfear,forCBPWILLRAPEJOOO.#################### #######################################QueenofFlamesIntheoldendaysoftheoriginalFHalegendaryhatewasbo rn.Fromtheseaofdatathatistheinternet,cameagirl,namedKodachi.Legendssaythatshewasanordinarymemberinth osedays.Sheissaidtoevenhavebeenlikeable...Onecanbarelyimagine,thishappygirlwhocametoFH,whichsheonced escribedasGod,forwhateverGodlythemesthisancientincarnationofFHhad.Itisleftforoldenmemberstoknow,andy
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