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 HOLY SHIT NEWS! #4 
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Post HOLY SHIT NEWS! #4
Welcome to the 4th edition to HOLY SHIT NEWS! Let's just dive in to the pool of shit.

-Starting the report for today is the "lack of diversity" shit fest regarding the Old Peoples Choice Awards (A.K.A The Oscars). To which I say who gives a fuck! We didn't give a fuck before, so why now? Remember when the problem with the Oscars was the fact that Leonardo DiCaprio has never won the award yet? Either way fuck the Oscars, I'm gonna watch the Razzie awards!

-Next we have a trial set for the botched restoration of King Tutankhamen's mask. All I can say is don't get a bunch of dumbasses to work on it you dumbasses! Remember when that one painting of Jesus was so fucked up that it looked like a monkey, now that was funny. This shit however is just sad. It's only the goddamned beard that fucked! If only they gave it the Michael Jackson nose treatment.

-As I thought we would completely skip winter entirely, the Gods of the Earth are pissed and sent the shit blizzard of the century on our asses! 3-4 fuckin' feet here! Seriously, I can't even get ANY of my fuckin' vehicles out of this cunt fest! Mind you, I have a Silveraydo and a big ass Jeep, what does that shit tell you! The end is coming, and the next story should tell ya!

-We've gotten to the point where we may die! Not only is the snow FUCKED, but tonight is the 2016 Royal Rumble! Y'all may be saying "mad, what the cock fucking blue shitty ass hell does a fake ass wrestling event have to do with the apocalypse?" Well, I shall explain. In 2014, Batista won the Rumble, despite not being with the company for 4 years. This caused an uproar among fans as expected. However, in 2015, Roman Reigns won the Rumble, only this time, SHIT GOT REAL!!! Fans rioted in the streets, refusing the Superstars from leaving, threatening to cancel the WWE Network! Now this year tonight, Roman Reigns must defend his title against 29 other people in the Rumble itself. If the fans aren't pleased for the third time in a row, guns are gonna go off, riots are gonna start, Cops and civilians are at fuckin' war, the US ARMY is called, other nations attacking the area, ISIS shoots up the place, Satan and Jesus duke it out, mushroom clouds start smoking up the entire state of Florida, Godzilla's gonna rise and blast us to Hell and back, the Earth starts to break apart, the apocalypse will start tonight IF THE FANS RAGE AT A FUCKIN' SAMOAN GUY DOING HIS JOB IN A FIGHT THAT'S FUCKIN' SCRIPTED!!! If the Smarks rage, we're fucked!

This is the madassgamer and I'm goin' to tha moon, biatch!!!

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Post Re: HOLY SHIT NEWS! #4
 • To add artificial diversity we're going to create four new groups then k-chart it to further diversify: those on fire, those being electrocuted in the knee (with arrows), those vomiting blood, and finally those without skin.

 • Monkeys fuck football get tried for fucking it up.

 • It snowed in winter. (This is not news.)

 • Wrestling is faker this year than last.

 • Now back to you, AssGamer.

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Post Re: HOLY SHIT NEWS! #4
Help: Missing person info.

Have you seen my skin? I shed my fresh one by accident and havent seen him since! If seen, call

* cut*

That's all the time we have left! Now for the Nightfever Hentai Marathon!

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Post Re: HOLY SHIT NEWS! #4
I lost all interest in the wwe when AJ Styles joined the roster. I love the mofo on TNA, but he seems watered down now.

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I'm back.... as a zombie lol

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Post Re: HOLY SHIT NEWS! #4
fluffy wrote:
• It snowed in winter. (This is not news.)

what about not snowing? it hasn't snowed here in south louisiana for YEARS

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Post Re: HOLY SHIT NEWS! #4
arch_enemy wrote:
fluffy wrote:
• It snowed in winter. (This is not news.)

what about not snowing? it hasn't snowed here in south louisiana for YEARS

You're doing it wrong.

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In just under one-thousand eight-bit bytes I have to confer some glorious shrine to myself by means of text, images, hyper links, embeded flash compositions and possibly formatting. I could abuse this easily. Ten hour clips on youtube embeded in a single vertical stack. Multi-megapixel long transparent GIFs causing scrollbar hell. Nuero-linguistic programs that fuck your mind like a fresh squid. Eye raping color schemes using ascii full-width blocks. Images or links to images of things that can not be unseen. Anything called "epilepsy" dot SWF. This is what I want to do. I am not a good person. I just know that would be a flagrant display of disrespect. I'll wait until I can get away with it.
NOW IN GLORIOUS TODD A.O.!
fluffco™ LLC takes no responsibility for anything, ever, at all, under any circumstances and is entirely fictional outside Colorado.


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