Welcome to the 8th edition of Holy Shit News and Holy Shit is there some decent news today!
-Kanye West is in the talks of suing Pirate Bay for uploading his newest album on their site. I doubt this will work however as we've seen he's 53 million dollars in fuckin' debt. It's called karma, bitch!
However, seeing as how I'm a nice guy (not a "Nice Guy", but a nice guy) I will give him a few tips on how to get out of debt. 1. Make better fuckin' music. 2. Quit being an egotistical nigg-...
I mean brother and don't be a dick, really bruh. 3. And this... THIS is 100 percent gonna get you out of debt. For a price of however much (be reasonable with your price though) anyone can fuck Kim Kardashian in her fat ass, though personally I'd rather bang SMS!
moving on.
-Jared Fogle has been sentenced to 15 years in prison after his kiddie porn scandal had been found out. According to the reports, 15 years is 3 years more than the federal recommendation. Pretty much, Fogle's lawyers want them to lower his sentence. I say FUCK THAT SHIT! He's lucky to not be put in the goddamn electric chair and have his brains be fried. As I've stated, fuck pedophiles!
-In the political world, Hillary Clinton won the Nevada Caucuses. I'm quite surprised actually considering her shit stained reputation. Though, I hope to see her suck my nigga Bill Clinton's dick in office while saying "Suck it, Monica!" Oh wait, she did XD. If she becomes President, maybe some dude will lick her dried up clit, but I doubt that would happen as Bill would pimp slap the shit outta her, because Bill Clinton is a Class-A True Nigga!
-Tonight is the night of 2 events. The Daytona 500 and WWE Fastlane. Personally, Daytona would probably have a better fuckin' story to it than WWE without even trying by this point. On the WWE side of things. My money's on Brock Lesnar! Let's hope Wrestlemania next month will be exciting. As for the Daytona 500, let's see how many cars crash into one big cluster fuck orgy of metal and oil on fire
! Oh, and please win Dale Jr.
-Finally, A man in the UK bought a lock of John Lennon's hair for $35,000. HOLY FUCK that's a lot on money! I'm gonna laugh my ass of however if the hair was cut from some hobo's head and the guy sold it saying "yeah, I met Lennon, he gave me his hair with some paper work written on some slightly used toilet paper, but it's John Lennon so who gives a shit".
This is the madassgamer and I'm gonna flip off what's left of the snow.