Lens-cleaning eye-wipe mother fucker!

No shit, this really happened: I point to a box of tissues and tell the guy to wipe his eye with that and he grabs fucking lens-cleaning wipes soaked in like alcohol or somefuck and proceeds to jam it in his cock-gobbling eye!

I used to work with this guy we called hotdog water because he almost sort of has a flavor but not quite… like hotdog water. His lukewarm intelligence wasn't even enough to keep him from being fired after getting demoted from machinist to janitor.

If you get a pokémon on wonder trade that's OP as fuck but named something vulgar you just got hit by my retarded plan to fork over the world dé la pokæmeurtas.

I have a crumbled up Tums chewably cherry fuck square and—FUCK YOU BIRDS YOU DON'T FUCKING KNOW ME

It's always a good idea to keep a clip of insane incest hentai on your phone so you can scan for speakers or open music devices and connect, turn the volume all-the-way-through and blast like boku no pico into somebody's sad little life.

Go to Kinko's or Staple's or prints-ʁ-we, LLC. and print off tiny, business cards if you can, guro/loli/furry/futa/whatever and shove them into boxes at stores like of cereal or toys, anything really, with links to things like 4chan.

Get yourself that special wrench used for outdoor water fixtures on most buildings, you can find one for cheap at harbor freight, and go around, on foot, opening them up just enough to be annoying.

Hollow out a charger you can loose and solder in a large conductor, or best of all a large capacitor, and next time you want to piss off a place just plug it in and trip the circuit.

A fillet knife can be used to slash a tire in such a way that it won't deflate immediately and the puncture won't be noticeable; get all four tires and they might not be able to tell the same day, week even.

Throw marbles onto the highway from any overpass. It doesn't matter if cars are coming.

Buy fresh fruit. Freeze it. Sneak it back in and replace other fresh fruit with the frozen one. Freezing a fruit turns the water into ice crystals that shred the cell walls and cause it to basically become mush.

Spray chloroform out your window to get rid of tailgate-ers.

Spray chloroform into ventilation of small buildings to rob them.

that certainly beats bologna on the car paint. or sugar in the gas tank, or rocks up the tail pipe.

sounds like fluffy wants to give up on the majority of humanity and use his unique talents to become a villain. This endeavour may land you in a worse situation or a better one, all depending on how far you plan ahead and what you rob and why.

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It'd be pretty funny if fluffy robbed my house... only to find the box is addressed "to fluffy".

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Joke's on you: I'm the hero. °·º

You don't need chloroform, then! Just break the pots!

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Real Life Hacks right here!

O Campeonato Sergipano de Futebol de 2006 foi a 88º edição do torneio e teve como campeão o Pirambu, que assim conquistou seu primeiro título estadual e garantiu vaga na Copa do Brasil 2007 e no Campeonato Brasileiro da Série C de 2006. O vice-campeão, Confiança, conquistou a segunda vaga do estado para a Série C de 2006. Os seis melhores colocados se classificaram para a Copa Governo do Estado de Sergipe de 2006.[1]

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