The real reason for everything...
The real reason for all the religions, all the wars and shit in the world is the one commodity all men lust for.
Little girl's pussy.
You know how a shitfest started in North Korea when they launched a missile? "Nukes!," the UN BAWWed.
It wasn't a nuke - but a clever ploy to place a geostationary satellite above the Sea of Japan. Why?. So that the great leader could tap into the pirate TV channels and fap to the little girls. The US clearly didn't like some third world commie dictator fapping to what they thought was their monopoly, and began the North Korean Embargo. And as you all well know, Japan is the yellow bitch of the US, and they quietly followed suit.
Why'd the Israelis pwn the shit out of Gaza Strip?. They ran out of ingredients for passover cake. The ingredients?. finely mashed little girl pussy (non-kosher, of course.). You could tell they were desperate - they even went and used banned weapons on civilian targets in a final, last burst effort to scare the little girls out of hiding.
Hell, why'd Hitler start WWII?. Because this dumb french shithead tried to steal his little girl pussy collection he had stashed in a bunker in the Rhine. On the pretext of "occupation", they attempted to scour the area in the hopes of finding Hitler's stash. Hitler was not amused.
At the end of WWII, Adolf Hitler ordered the remaining forces in his army to protect Berlin at any cost, and revealing to his closest friends the existence of the stash of little girls. The German Wermach staged the final battle, but were eventually overpowered by the combined might of the Allied-Russian advance. The stash was discovered by a US Regiment, and immediately transferred it, along with the Spear of Destiny to the US command. The Russians demanded the US hand over the little girls, because they had arrived first in Berlin. However, the US occupation force, keeping true to its "finders keepers policy", laughed out loud and told the commies to fuck off.
Thus began the long battle of the two super powers known in history as the cold war.
Over the years, as Russia failed time and time again to command a monopoly on little girls pussy, it's power gradually fell away and now, the United States stands as the one superpower in the world. A testament to the power that comes with the complete ownership of little girl's pussy.
You want to know why the Korean war was fought for?. Or the 'Nam fiasco?. Not against communism. Not against "threats to the free world". Only for one thing; Little girl pussy. The United States Government first experimented with covertly kidnapping little girls from its own soil. However, leaked documents alerted a secretive ideological organization known as the Patriots. In two years time, Timothy McVeigh and Terry Nichols, both agents of the Patriots , delivered the killing blow to the operation; now known as the The Oklahoma City bombing, destroying the secret command center of the operation in the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building, killing several commanders and rendering the multi-million dollar installation useless.
After this incident, the major players in the world government realized that they had to go for the little girls in poor, commie countries or risk exposure if they tried it again. The media of the United States was too free, and every territory was too well covered. This would not be a problem if the operation targeted little girls from poorer countries.
Even UNICEF;- while spouting shit like "we care for children." and acting all butthurt when some crazy fuck heads upload some delicious loli... are nothing more than a front for a global network designed to siphon little girls off (they call it rehabilitation from post traumatic stress disorder.) and extract their soft, tender and oh-so-tight little pussies for their own, sinister causes.
Make of it, what you will.
EDIT: WILL THIS BE SUM COPYPASTA?.