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 How to be a BAD spender. 
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Post How to be a BAD spender.
LOLOLOL I KNOW THIS IS LEGIT STFU

Right, so I know you guys've become credit card deadbeats after reading my last tutorial (OR HAVE YOU?!), so we'll move on to the next step of saving moneyz and shit.

There are a few things you can do to reduce your spending. Take sloughing off unwanted expenditures and reducing impulse buying. We'll take a look at these things separately because your face looks like a dick.

Reducing Expenditure (aka fixing your mistakes)

Bills: A natural fact of life, like my 1-inch penis. Either you pay or you get your ass handed to you on a bun. What can you do to at least reduce your bills? Read on.

1) Go through your phone bill, look for services you don’t use, and ditch them. Sit down and go through each item on your bill and see if there’s anything there that you don’t use, like a surfeit of text messages or web access or something to that effect. Then call your cell phone company and ask to have those services eliminated. Boom, you’re saving money. 2$ a week isn't much, but it adds up, you stupid fuck.

2) Fix your crypt. Most homes have some air leaks that make the job of keeping it cool in summer and warm in winter that much harder – and that much more costly for you. Spend an afternoon air sealing your home. Sure, it's a bit of an investment, but you're the one paying for the heating in winter and the air conditioner in summer. The basic ides is to look for air leaks in roofing, walls, windows, etc, and seal them off with a silicon gun. That's right, you're giving your home a boob job. Now don't seal yourself in your house, dumbass!

3) Maintain your plumbing, Mario. Leaky pipes, especially in winter can fuck your shit up if left unfixed. Can lead to cracked pipes which can inflate your utilities bill. You don't want this, right? So man the fuck up and check the pipes every once a week.

4) Ensure that your electrical wiring isn't malfunctioning. A shorted out wire could lead to circuit breaker triggers (appliance damage) and even fire (your arm is on fire). You don't want that, right? Oh, and be diligent about turning off lights before you don't need'em. If you spend one minute turning off lights before a two hour hiatus, that’s the equivalent of earning 1$ an hour. That’s some impressive savings, particularly if you do it before longer trips. The key is to use less energy, particularly when you’re not using the device.

Your bills will be taken care of... for now.

Now, we move to combating your spending habits.

1) Don’t fear your leftovers – Many people dread eating leftovers – they’re just inferior rehashes of regular meals, not exactly enjoyable to the discerning palate, right? PFFFFFT. You're flying solo - you can't have some hoity toity dish as you please. However, there’s nothing cheaper than eating leftovers and with a few great techniques for making leftovers tasty, you can often end up with something surprising and quite delicious on the other end. In the next lesson, I'll teach you how to make some epic leftover stew.

2) Combating impulse shopping. Whenever you pick up an item in order to add it to your cart or to take it to the checkout, stop for twenty seconds and ask yourself this; Do you need it? Why do you need it? Is it worth my time and money? Why are you’re buying it and do you actually need it or not?. If you can’t find a good answer, put the item back. This keeps me from making impulse buys on a regular basis.

3) Cut your own hair. I can cut mine myself with a pair of clippers, for example. I just cut it really short every once in a while, then give it a good anti-dandruff bath. And don’t worry about it too much. Just put a garbage bag over the bathroom sink, bust out the clippers and scissors, and get it done. Two or three cuts will pay for the clippers, and then you’re basically getting free haircuts. With a bit of practice, you can make it look good, too.

4) Instead of throwing out some damaged clothing, man the fuck up and repair it instead. You don't even need a sewing machine for this shit. Don’t toss out a shirt because of a broken button – sew a new one on with some closely-matched thread. Don’t toss out pants because of a hole in them – put in a patch of some sort and save them for times when you’re working around the house. Simple sewing can be done by anyone – it just takes a few minutes and it saves a lot of money by keeping you from buying new clothes when you don’t really need to.

I hope you've at least got an idea on what to do to start saving up.

Next lesson; How to be a BAD grocery customer. (aka moar saving by editing your eating habits)

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Tue Nov 29, 2011 4:40 am
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Post Re: How to be a BAD spender.
full of win.

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Fri Dec 02, 2011 8:50 pm
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Post Re: How to be a BAD spender.
YOU NEED TO DO TEH NEXT LESSON!

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Fri Mar 08, 2013 6:58 pm
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Post Re: How to be a BAD spender.
I dont live on the edge anymore, but why the fuck not.

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Post Re: How to be a BAD spender.
Thank you for bumping the old-as-fuck thread. I will remember these tips for all eternity. Or until I'm not poor. So still possibly for all eternity. Whatever.

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Fri Mar 08, 2013 7:33 pm
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Post Re: How to be a BAD spender.
Time has no meaning here. Necropostin's allowed, as long as its not spam.

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Post Re: How to be a BAD spender.
I assumed so, given that the admin did it. And since this site lacks any non-trivial rules.

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Post Re: How to be a BAD spender.
Actually I learned a technique of refreshing leftover rice once it gets dry and kinda hard again, generally tasting bad even with soy sauce.

What I do is just add a level spoon of margarine and a quick dash of water and just microwave, mixing the butter-water solution around until I get a nice texture and the rice is saturated again. Add soy sauce and enjoy. You could add more or less water as you like, just that you shouldn't have any liquid left on the bottom of your bowl before adding soy sauce. Downside is that it may be a tad fatty but I think it's delish.

(Intended this post as a continuation because it doesn't really need a guide of its own. noh8)

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