someguy542003
Level 11
Posts: 1213 |
Joined: Sun Jul 26, 2009 7:50 pm |
Cash on hand: 0.00
Group: Oldies |
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foruming on fh
Although i wouldn't call myself an elite fh'er or interneter, I would say that i am at least trained. Therefore, here is some knowledge I would like to pass on to noobs. And i write this knowing that people who need this probably won't read it. However, I am ok with that, it gives me dumbasses to troll and flame
let us start with a list of vocabulary:
noob, newb, newbie, nub = a new person to the forum flame = to throw usually baseless and immature insults at someone. Should never be productive troll = a person who "trolls" ie says or does things to elicit a response usually an angry response a good example is hanzo saying racial slurs... meme = in reference to the internet, a meme is a phrase, image, or video that has become popular and is widely used, ie the orly owl, rick rolling, lolcats cyber = short for cyber sex RP = role play (whenever you see *[action]*) IRL = in real life e-penis = a fake measure of your greatness. In forums, this refers to your post count, on xbox live it'll be your gamerscore, etc... rick roll = the act of sending someone to a youtube video of one of rick astley's songs, usually "never gonna give you up," it is a generally disliked song, and is usually used to trick people who think they're gonna get porn or something
If you are still confused with these words, or If you find words that you don't know, look it up on google, easiest bet... other good places are, urban dictionary, and encyclopedia dramatica. These are where google will lead you most anyways.
So lesson 1: the internet is surrius business
Do not take anything on the internet seriously. The internet is the easiest place to lie, and the easiest place to get away with saying whatever you fucking feel like. As soon as you take things seriously, you lose, and we WILL have fun at your expense. Best case scenario for us: we hear on the news that you killed yourself. Don't be that kind of idiot. This is where flaming and trolling come along. It is to weed out the idiots, put them in the spot light, and laugh.
lesson 2: men are men, women are men, and kids are FBI agents
I personally prefer the axiom 90% of girls on the internet like to cyber, the other 10% are real, but you get the point. I also prefer going by IT until proven otherwise, but whatever. The point is to always be skeptical. Photos are easy to find and fake. It's easy to lie about everything from age to gender. Don't be an idiot and give away personal information. Don't be an idiot and believe a lot of personal information. Don't cyber with "girls" or "boys" unless you go into it realizing that it could all be a joke.
lesson 3: Don't give away personal info!!!
This is how you get your ID stolen. Also, this is how we find you in IRL to rape you... or to put a face to the idiot on the internet. Also post pictures of yourself and loved ones at your own risk. Photoshoping pictures is a common pastime for Internet dwellers, you may find yourself the poster child for a negative meme.
lesson 4: Most people on the forum are horny middleschoolers
This goes along with rule 2. But you basically assume that all forumers are in middleschool, broke the forum rules, ignored age restrictions, and are in it for the porn. It sure explains most of their behavior. And it makes for fun flaming.
lesson 5: forumer categories
There are several types of people roaming the forums lurker: someone who follows posts, but never posts, themselves. They "lurk" around the forums. these people, for all extensive purposes do not matter troll: these people are usually out for a good laugh by pissing people off hacker: can be fun can be dangerous. Some like to vandalize sites to make themselves feel powerful attention whore: these people do many things to garner attention. They post about good things in their life. They post bad things in their life. In any case they look for pity, love, jealousy, support, ATTENTION. In many sad cases, they threaten to commit suicide. Don't take them seriously.
There are many more, many without a label. But here are some fun things to look for. There are a lot of people who like blaming their actions on siblings, mental disorders, or periods. Rather than take credit for their stupidity or whatever, they like to blame it on things. This behavior is frowned upon. There are also idiots. Some pretend to be smart by making large posts. However, upon careful inspection, you will see their idiocy clearly. Some are just obvious. Also, if you do not see the village idiot, then it's probably you. Another common act is gender bending. Being of questionable sexuality. Pretending to be a girl, pretending to be a guy. Girls do it to protect themselves. "Girls" do it to "protect themselves." and guys usually do it for attention or trolling. In any case people won't like you. You might get a laugh, but they won't like you.
lesson 6: shock sites
These are a means of trolling. It gives the user a sense of enjoyment knowing that they scarred the eyes of little middleschoolers and elderly basement dwellers. You must not react, if you don't want to give them enjoyment. You must view a lot of these, and desensitize yourself, to be fully immune to these. Examples: goatse, tubgirl, pillowfight (ie shitting dick nipples), lemon party, pain olympics, scatophilia, and anything on somethingaweful
And there's also rick rolling, which people use promising porn or something else... it's funny... it's not the same as trolling with shock sites, but it's in the same spirit
lesson 7: lulz
it can happen to anyone, anywhere, at anytime. It is the most sought after thing on the interwebz. Go search for it
_________________ Yes, I have ADHD. J/K I'm Just CrAzy!!!!
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