FUCK "CORRECT" CHOPSTICKS METHOD. FUCK JOINT TORTURE.
THESIS:
Now, I have been desensitized, dull, and feeling dead for quite a long time.
Only within moments of chopsticks, the simple implements became thumbscrews by mandated methodology.
What is considered a time tested practice, was really a conduct of torture written by madmen and tyrants long passed. The rules of chopsticks is a robed immolating testament of their evil legacy.
Now, I get culture, religion, and even martyrdom. What I wouldn't stand for is a perverse meaning of life when it bought suffering and death. As God judges and commands, I shall rule out the indictment over the backward ways of chopstick methods.
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THE SAID TORTUROUS METHOD:
The said correct way to hold and use chopsticks is a complicated form of movement intended for outer worldly beings. The main effect is the ability to easily hold objects with the use of two sticks. However, the side effect throws a burden upon the hand's joints on control.
The top stick is NOT HELD LIKE A PEN. It is held in front of the third phalanx (pointing part) of both pointing and middle finger, with the second phalanx (pointing part) of thumb finger holding it in place. Thumb is to be generally perpendicular of the pointing finger. The bottom stick is held in front of the third phalanx (pointing part) of both ring and pinky (not necessary, but useful to prevent slips) finger, with the first phalanx of thumb finger holding it in place. Once again, thumb is to be generally perpendicular of the pointing finger. Both sticks should be resting on the metacarpal bone of the pointing finger. No knuckle use.
Here's a picture in case you didn't notice.
- Spoiler: show
The emphasis is that the bottom stick should not move at all. Its support will place impending great WEIGHING stress upon not only the ring finger, but to any joint connected to it as well. That will include your wrist! The top stick can be moved by both pointing and middle finger, with the thumb holding its origin of angle. The holding function is dependent upon the parallel position of the two sticks. Otherwise, your sticks will have less surface area to gain friction hold on the food.
In which angle your hand be, it is best to hold the food by the indicated vertical queue. Horizontal queue makes food easier to reach mouth, but will add just a little more stress upon your ring finger as well as your entire wrist.
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THE ARGUMENT:
All this time in this method, the fingers will get suffering weight. Your wrist nerves and muscles is doing its best to extend a bit of extra joules to keep up your fingers from breaking down. Fingers are not self efficient 50 lbs lifting muscles! They are fucking delicate parts reliant upon other parts to get the lifting, holding, or pushing done! Any distress can be considered capital punishment dictated by people who hates food and might die anyways! All that fucking stress on the joints needs to be put into more healthy use! No wonder there are "many" Chinese drivers in automobile accidents! All it takes is some joint or nerve to crack, and the dude loses fucking control for a fucking moment! He lost focus, he lost focus on the road and his surroundings. The demon of chopstick thumbscrews, attacks again! RAH!
I am afraid that I'll get arthritis from this method. Several links even scientifically proves the problem of the chopstick rule. I guess ergonomics and safety was not in mind for our fellow Asians! Where's the W.H.O.? Do your fucking job damnit!
https://www.webmd.com/osteoarthritis/ne ... hing-handshttps://www.sciencenews.org/blog/food-t ... s-and-painEven the wikipedia says so!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chopsticks#Health_effects---
THE SOLUTION (INCLUDES LESSER TORTUROUS METHOD):
In one of the articles, ergonomically friendly chopsticks will do. Unfortunately, nobody on the Asian continent will lift a (broken) finger for the sake of health and safety. Industrial pockets don't give a shit like it's dirty slums Chinatown or even Kowloon Walled City. Not that I care about the slums, it's a mishap or even side effect of capitalism/industrialism. Yes, you can recuperate against the pain and damage, but the nutritional joint remedy can be costly. Seriously, I think that drug (ab)use was the pain killing solution to these semi-thumb screws.
The makeshift solution is to find another, if ineffective way of holding and using chopsticks. The only problem with it is that it cannot hold slippery or small foods too well. It is still possible to do, but will leave some pain in some parts of hand or thumb.
The top stick is THEN HELD LIKE A PEN. Put top stick held between in front of the third phalanx (pointing part) of pointing finger and the second phalanx (pointing part) of thumb finger. Top stick should be lying parallel in front of the metacarpal bone of pointing finger. Put bottom stick held between in front of the third phalanx (pointing part) of both middle and ring finger. Bottom stick should be lying parallel in front of the metacarpal bone of pointing finger, but also below the top stick.
Here's a picture in case you didn't notice.
- Spoiler: show
The emphasis is that the top stick should not move at all. Its support should not place impending great WEIGHING stress upon thumb finger, but might apply to any joint connected to it as well. That will include your wrist! However, it was my sworn testimony that an experience of less joint pain to occur. The bottom stick can be moved (out sideways [I know, it's a bit {physically} awkward by reach]) by both middle and ring finger (it was expected to move the pinky finger with both middle and ring finger), with the top stick (held by pointing and thumb finger) holding its origin of angle. Its support will place impending great WEIGHING stress upon middle, ring, and pinky fingers, but might apply to any joint connected to it as well. That will include your wrist! What the difference of burden? Your ring finger is only holding the food with the thumb being at the side or bottom position. The holding function is dependent upon the scissor-like angle position of the two sticks. Otherwise, your sticks will have less surface area to gain friction hold on the food.
In which angle your hand be, it is best to hold the food by the indicated vertical queue. Horizontal queue (with back of hand on top [recommended for ease of use]) allows different angles to reach food, but will add just a little more stress upon your thumb finger as well as your entire wrist. The change to horizontal stack will relieve the ring finger of distress from holding the food sideways (it would be on top position).
If the situation of slippery or small food arises, of course you can switch to the "correct" way. Just remember it can be painful.
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CONCLUSION:
It is obvious that this ancient practice is facing its antiquity (grave) within the history books. Let us all save our hands for the modern times, not some torturous customs like little fucking shoes (foot binding). Maybe, the rules of chopstick was an excuse to smoke weed/pot. Work is joint extensive enough! Get your hand and feet moving ya motherfucker!