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 The Ikea Song 
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Post The Ikea Song
A mexican bandito in a sombrero and traditional mariachi clothes begins to strum his mexican tuned guitar

He then begins to sing with a rough voice
Terribly

"There is a place with a many of things"
"A place we call Ikea"

"It is a place the homeless go"
"to be able to sleep on a soft bed" , "in the day time!"

"And you driva your car to ikea"
"to go and buy some furniture"

"And everyone goes to Ikea"
"to go and buy some furniture"

"And they keya your car at Ikea"
"cause theres too many cars at Ikea"

"And the parking spaces at Ikea"
"are way too close together"

"and they scratcha your paint right off of your car"
"In Ikea's parking lot"

"I Keya your car at Ikea"
"I keya your car at Ikea"

"I carva my name in your paint job"
"while you're shopping in Ikea"

"and all of the drunks from the liquer store"
"stumble over into Ikea's parking lot", "and cut your break cables..."

"and the blacks they break your windows"
"at Ikea"

"and the homeless they piss on your seat"
"because the window is open"

"and you buy cheap furniture at Ikea"
"and bring it out and put it in your trunk"

"and then you die on the way home"
"because they cut your breaks at Ikea", "or installed a pipebomb..."

"And then you are before God in judgement"
"and he says you shouldn't have bought things from Ikea"
"because Ikea is a sweedish company"
"and they support faggotry"

"And so he sends you to hell"
"and theres faggots, trannies and muslims"
"roman catholics, buddhists, and jews"
"jainists, humanitarians and news reporters"
"And throw in some hindus too"
"and then theres the people from google and facebook"
"and youtube and twitter to boot"
"and all the politicians, and women's rights activists too"

"and you can't forget the niggers."
"and you beg and plead for another chance."

"and you wake up in your house"
"and there are the boxes from Ikea"

"and then you think to yourself"
"'oh well I guess they shouldn't go to waste", "so you take them out of the box"
"and you try to put them together"
"and find theres many missing peices"
"because I stole them"

"and then you realize it's still hell"
"and you are doomed for all eternity"
"and you cannot ever leave, till you put together everything from Ikea", "correctly"

"and you talk to people at Ikea"
"to get the missing peices"

"and the people at Ikea"
"tell you to order them from a magazine"

"so you order them from a magazine"
"and they send you the wrong peices"

"and then you make a phonecall"
"and they tell you those peices were never made"

"and you ask them to make them"
"and they tell you it's discontinued", "even though it's still in the store"

"And you realize you should have never shopped at Ikea."
"you should have never gone to Ikea"
"You should have never driven your kia to Ikea"
"I keya your car at Ikea"

"YOU SHOULD HAVE NEVER GONE TO IKEA!!"
"I Keya your car!, I carva my name at IKEA!!"


This song is based on real life events that have been in the news about happenings at Ikea, especially in Ikea Parking lots.

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His name is not Robert Paulsen, His name is Gregory Matthew Bruni, he won so hard.

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Thu Mar 31, 2022 7:00 am
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